Thursday, July 16, 2015

Secret Meeting Leads to Decision on Quaich 2016 Dates


Breaking News!  It was just revealed that USA Captain Chris "Guv'na" Hughes and Scottish Captain Ross "Rosco" MacCallum met secretly in Scotland on July 16 to negotiate the dates of next year's Quaich matches.  Under cover of night, Captain Hughes flew to Scotland to meet with MacCallum without the knowledge of the rest of Team USA.  When the dates were announced as October 27 - 30, 2016 in Austin, Texas, it became clear that MacCallum somehow got the best of the bargaining.

"What the fu*k!" exclaimed Chris "Cudman" Van Horne of Team USA.  "We were supposed to play in mid-July, when Austin has a fu*king heat index of 112, to make the Scots really suffer!"

"We talked about this as a team," added Brian "Farley" Farley.  "The intent was to have the Scots sweat their kilt-covered balls off for four days.  I don't understand what happened to the plan."

This publication received an anonymous photo of the fateful meeting in Scotland at the Scotch Malt Whiskey Society on Queen Street in Edinburgh on July 14.

Captains Hughes and MacCallum hit the bottle in Scotland at secret meeting
Hughes, who has a particular affinity for single malts, was clearly over-served when he agreed to the unprecedented October dates for the Quaich.

"He let Mikey P. right back into the mix," said former US Captain Eric "Swayze" Silagy, referring to the well-known fact that Michael "Mikey P" Peyrebrune would have been unable to play for Team Scotland in a State-side Quaich prior to August 2016 because of work obligations related to the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio De Janeiro.  "This was the Guv'na's first big decision as Captain and he blew it."

"I am please to commit to my first Quaich in the United States," said Mikey P. in a prepared statement.  "As one of the few Scots with an overall winning record in the Quaich matches, I expect to help my team take back the Quaich."

The 2016 Quaich matches will be played in Austin, Texas at the Barton Creek Resort.

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